Umm. I feel like this one is going to be hard.
1. Have a sense of humour.
Cynical/Sarcastic humour is an asset, and just generally being able to act like a complete goofball. Because I’m absolutely crazy sometimes with the things I say and do, so I don’t want to feel like a big loser around you. Be stupid with me. Be able to tell when I’m completely joking. I say some really vain thing sometimes, but it’s completely satirical.
2. Don’t be too cheesy…
…with nicknames. There are very few pet names I can handle. Don’t call me hun, honey or dear … you’re not my grandmother. Even worse is names like “cupcake snicker doodle” or other odd names. I will look at you in disgust.
3. Don’t pressure me to tell you things.
I am very talkative and I can continue conversations very well about anything. Except my personal life. I will pretend things are fine and dandy in my life with practically everyone. It takes me a really long time to even hint to people at problems in my life. I usually just like to deal with them myself; I don’t like to seem dramatic. I’ll appreciate your concern but I’ll mostly likely tell you nothing is wrong for a long time.
4. Be able to do fun things with me, not just go out and party.
I don’t mind partying with people now and then, but I really just prefer hanging out with one person and doing fun things like something active (biking, running, working out in general, going on hikes, yoga classes, whatever), adventurous (going through caves, bungee jumping, skydiving, anything slightly insane, going on a road trip without a map and just instinct, anything crazy) and just simple little things like taking walks on a nice night, apple picking, pumpkin carving, going to museums, people watching at a coffee shop… I just want someone to enjoy these kinds of things with. If you ever list “partying” or “clubbing” as one of your interests….then you’re a boring fuck.
5. If you’re tall and good looking and take care of yourself that’s a huge bonus.
I don’t care if it sounds vain. Relationships are just as physical as they are emotional. If all I have with you is an emotional connection, we’re better off as friends. Relationships need chemistry and if one of us don’t feel it, then there’s no point. And anyone can be good looking if they take care of themselves. Also, I’m tall. I don’t want to tower over you. I want someone at least a little taller than me. At least.
Bonus: If you have a dog I may love you forever. Or just your dog.